Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Thank you

To the lady who found me a sobbing wreck in the car park of the children's centre, thank you for helping. Thank you for stopping when others had kept on walking. Thank you for stopping even though I was mortified to be found like that. Thank you for gently taking my crying tired child from me, calming her down and putting her in her pushchair, something that I had spent 10minutes trying and failing to do. Thank you for confiding in me that you were late leaving the stay and play session we had been to because you too were seeking help wiyh coping. And thank you for not judging me, and going on to have a normal conversation with me. Thank you.

You see, most days I hold it together quite well, considering I could count the number of decent nights sleep I have in the past four years on one hand. Considering the fact that my youngest daughter still wakes every 2-3 hours throughout the night, despite being 20 months old. That my eldest daughter still wakes at night most nights too. That, despite not sleeping at night they both get up for the day at 5.30. Despite all those things, I still manage to function quite well. Hey sometimes I even manage to blog about some of the fun things we do!

But then other times, I don't hold it together so well at all. Times like this morning, when G just point blank refuses to go in her pram. Or walk. Or do anything other than cry and cling to me. Despite her tiny size, she is deceptively strong. And at that moment in time, I couldn't find a better option than to just hold her, and sit on the floor and cry. Because that is the thing about being a parent; every day is just a series of moments that you have to deal with, in the moment. And sometimes, usually, we can see the bigger picture, but just sometimes, we can't. And we just get consumed by the moment we are dealing with at the time.

Had a stranger not come along to rescue me, I'm sure I would have picked myself up again soon and carried on again, but, at the that moment, I was very glad to receive some help, and I would just like to say thank you.